


missing words

by shaylawrites (thominwtt)



Series: bingo 2019 [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Babies, Dry Humping, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Kid Fic, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-22
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-12-28 04:47:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21130889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thominwtt/pseuds/shaylawrites
Summary: Unfortunately, the waiting list for domestic adoptions was long, and longer for them, even, because they were a queer couple. This meant that, by the time they had gotten a call from their adoption agent and were told that a sibling pair was available, they had jumped at the chance.





	missing words

**Author's Note:**

> alex wanted this and I love her so I couldn't say no <3  
I also managed to sneak it some prompts from the phanfic bingo which were: twitter likes, dry humping, premature ejaculation  
hope you enjoy!

It’s a quiet moment in the house. What feels like the first quiet moment they have had for three weeks. Dan doesn’t know how this has happened, but even in his half sleep-deprived state, he’s going to try and take advantage of it.

And that’s where they are now; pressed hard against each other and kissing frantically against their bedroom wall. Dan has one leg in between Phil’s and his arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriend’s waist, thrusting up into the area between Phil’s hipbone and stomach.

Dan notices absent-mindedly that they haven’t even bothered to rid themselves of their clothes; Phil still dressed in his sleep pants and Dan in a t-shirt and boxers. It feels too good to stop now, though. The roughness of the fabric against Dan’s cock as he ruts against Phil is almost too good, and the feeling builds to his orgasm quickly. He doesn’t remember the last time he got off with Phil, so Dan isn’t really worried about lasting long at this point.

And Phil...Dan can’t keep his eyes off of Phil. He’s arched against the wall so beautifully; his pale neck on display as he gasps. His eyelashes flutter every time Dan presses his leg up against the bulge in his sleep pants, and the noises he makes into Dan’s neck drive Dan’s hips up faster against Phil’s.

It’s only been a few minutes into their coupling when Dan comes, hips stuttering as he slumps forward and moans. Phil gives him time as he comes down, stroking his back and pressing light kisses against his neck.

Dan feels a sudden surge of fondness for his boyfriend once his head is clear again. Phil is often impatient (it comes with being a younger sibling), and it makes Dan's stomach feels funny when he notices Phil happily waiting for Dan to catch his breath. 

So Dan takes the appreciative feelings with him when he wraps Phil up in his arms, spinning them both around until Dan can shove Phil onto their bed. Dan doesn’t waste time with his own clothes, yanking down Phil’s pants instead

“Fuck,” Dan breathes out, almost breathless with the sight of Phil’s pink cock twitching against his stomach. “You’re really hard.”

A small laugh comes from Phil, but it’s quickly cut off when Dan grips his hand around Phil’s dick, thumb spreading the copious amounts of pre-cum around the head.

“When’s the last time you even got off?” Dan asks teasingly, stroking over Phil with a light hand. Phil shutters, hips bucking into Dan’s hand instinctively.

“When’s the last time we had sex?” Phil mumbles, mouth opening in a silent gasp as Dan gets to his knees and places a kiss on the head of his dick.

“Jesus,” Dan whispers, and Phil whines at the feeling of his lips moving over him. “No wonder you’re so fucking wet.” 

He mouths over Phil’s cock, enjoying the burst of pre-cum he gets every time he tongue’s Phil’s slit. Phil is too far gone to last much longer after that, coming almost immediately as Dan takes him down his throat.

Dan strips out of his clothes shortly after, wincing at the feeling of cum-filled glued against his sweaty skin. He disappears into the bathroom to clean up, leaving Phil to catch his breath on the bed, when he hears a cry come from the baby monitor on their bedside table.

By the time Dan has cleaned himself up and has come back into the bedroom to get changed, Phil is already out of the room, leaving to go check on their youngest daughter. Dan prays to a god he doesn’t believe in that Grace doesn’t wake up Clarke with her crying, because one crying child is a lot easier to handle than two.

Initially, during the adoption process, they had been interested in one baby; a child that they could raise together from the time that they were young throughout their life. Unfortunately, the waiting list for domestic adoptions was long, and longer for them, even, because they were a queer couple. This meant that, by the time they had gotten a call from their adoption agent and were told that a sibling pair was available, they had jumped at the chance. 

They had agreed, over two years before, how they would be willing to take siblings if the option was available. It was a small likelihood, especially because most sibling groups that go through the system are older than Dan and Phil were capable of taking. It was surely a surprise when they were told that both children were under three years old, with Grace being only two months.

Regardless of that fact, they had been ready to adopt a newborn, and being able to parent another child as well gave the two of them so much happiness. 

Despite the limited amount of sleep or free time they got.

If Dan’s honest, he’s surprised by the amount of time they did get to themselves. It’s not often that they have uninterrupted moments, between Clarke’s bad dreams and Grace’s many needs as a small baby. He’s grateful for it though, especially as he hears a faint cry start-up in Clarke’s room. 

He rushes there quickly, knowing that Phil has his hands full with Grace at the moment. When he opens Clarke’s bedroom door, he finds their daughter standing up in her crib, crying out sullenly until she catches sight of Dan.

“Dadda!” She says happily, reaching her arms out over the bars of the crib. Relief flows through Dan; this reaction from her means she was looking for attention rather than scared from a nightmare. 

He goes to her, lifting her into his arms and placing her onto his hip. She grins up at him as he wipes away the tears from her eyes. She and her sister both have bright blue eyes that look just like Phil’s. Phil acts annoyed whenever Dan brings it up, but Dan thinks he’s secretly pleased that they either of them might resemble Dan or Phil at all, even if they aren’t biologically related. 

Dan thinks of this as he strokes a hand through Clarke’s mess of light blonde curls on the top of her head, which, besides the curliness, is far from Dan or Phil’s hair. Through the short month that they’ve had their girls, they have noticed Clarke’s happiness whenever either of her parents show her physical affection, and she is particularly fond of Dan playing with her hair.

“Gracie okay?” Clarke mumbles after a few moments of Dan walking her around her room in his arms. They can still hear the wailing from Grace’s room across the hall, and Dan tries to quell his worries about why she might be crying. He hasn’t quite gotten over the constantly-worried-about-my-childfaze, but he suspects that parents never really get over it, they just get used to it. 

“Do you wanna go check on her and Daddy?” Dan asks, smiling down at her encouragingly. Clarke nods shyly, burying her face in Dan’s chest. Dan follows the cries into Grace’s room, and Dan sees Phil cradling their baby in his arms, rocking her softly back and forth as she wails. 

“Diaper?” Dan asks, more out of habit than needing the answer. He knows that if she needed to be changed that Phil would have already dealt with it. 

Phil shakes his head anyway, turning to face Dan, and Dan notices that Phil’s shirt was unbuttoned, as well as Grace is only wearing a diaper. This usually means that they have exhausted all of the basic options and are now at the skin-to-skin comfort stage. Dan thinks that the hardest thing Phil had to learn (and maybe is still learning) as a parent is that sometimes children just cry, and there isn’t any way to stop it. It makes Phil feel like a bad parent, and even a little hopeless sometimes, and Dan knows that Phil already doubts himself as a father enough as it is.

“Do you me want to try with her?” Dan asks, placing a comforting hand on Phil’s back. “You and Clarke can go into the living room.”

“Wanna stay,” Clarke pipes up. Dan glances down at her and the determination in her eyes and knows that they won’t be changing her mind anytime soon. Even for a two and a half-year-old, Clarke is very protective of her younger sister.

At that moment, Grace lets out a particularly loud cry, and Phil turns away, walking around the room with her in an effort to get her to calm down. 

“She could be hungry again,” Dan offers.

“I fed her like forty minutes ago,” Phil responds, and Dan can see, in the slump in Phil’s shoulders and solemness in his voice, that Phil is feeling defeated. 

“Just switch with me,” Dan says. Phil tenses, and Dan is prepared to leave with Clarke so they don’t have an argument, but Phil just faces him silently, holding out an arm for Clarke. 

They have practiced the baby trade-off enough in the past month to make it easy, and it’s not long before Dan has Grace wiggling against his chest. He realizes that he should have taken his shirt off before holding her so they could be skin-to-skin, and is about to place he back down into her crib to do just that when she starts to quiet.

Her loud shrieks turn into whimpers, and, after about a minute, she’s silent in Dan’s arms. Dan longs to stroke his fingers against her soft skin, feel the little tufts of her dark-brown hair, but he wouldn’t dare disturb her contentment. 

Dan glances up, already smiling at the silence that has settled around them. He sees Clarke leaning forward in Phil’s arms, trying to peak at her younger sister, and Phil giving him a tight smile, his jaw tense. Phil is good at appearing to look fine when he’s actually upset; he’s spent most of his life doing it for a camera. But Dan can see through it, almost like it’s second nature, just like Phil immediately notices if Dan is having a bad day.

Despite this, Dan stays quiet, not wanting to disturb the peace of the absence of Grace’s cries or bring something like that up in front of either of their impressionable daughters. So he lets Phil bring Clarke back to her room, enjoying a few more seconds of peaceful time with Grace before he puts her into her crib.

Phil isn’t in their room when Dan enters. For half a second, Dan contemplates climbing into bed and catching up on the sleep they both obviously need. But then Phil’s face flashes in Dan’s eyes, and the idea goes away as soon as it popped into his mind.

Instead, Dan grabs his phone from the nightstand, spending some time scrolling through social media, something he hasn’t done in days. This is where Phil finds him twenty minutes later when he enters the bedroom.

“That took a while,” Dan says carelessly. He’s in the middle of typing a tweet about the latest political discourse when Phil flops down, face first, onto the bed beside him.

“Clarke wouldn’t go down,” Phil explains, his words muffled by the blankets. “She wouldn’t even let me read her a story because she wanted you to do it instead.”

This makes Dan pause, letting the words sink in as he remembers Phil’s less-than-happy face from earlier. He puts down his phone, turning until he is laying sideways, facing his boyfriend. “Phil,” he starts.

“It’s not a big deal, Dan,” Phil cuts him off. And Dan realizes, through the tone of Phil’s voice and the memories of the anxiety both of them faced before the adoption, what is truly bothering Phil.

“Phil,” Dan repeats. He waits until Phil looks up and meets his gaze to continue. “You’re not a bad dad.”

Phil shakes his head, burying his face back into the blanket. “Shut up.”

Sighing, Dan runs a hand up his boyfriend’s back. “I promise you. Just because Grace calmed down with me this time doesn’t mean she won’t with you next time. Same goes with Clarke.”

“Clarke told me she likes you better.”

That gives Dan a pause. “What?”

“This morning, while you were out picking up groceries,” Phil explains, shrugging Dan’s hand off of his back. “She said she wished it was me going out instead because she liked when you got her breakfast and watched cartoons with her more.”

“Phil…”

Phil barrels on. “And I know kids pick favourites, especially when they’re young. And we’ve talked about stuff like this before. But you’ve always been great with kids, and they’ve always hated me. And how the hell am I supposed to be a good dad if I can’t even get my own kids to like me?” 

He’s out of breath when he finishes speaking, and Dan can tell by the way his back rises and falls quickly once he’s quiet. Dan wants to tell him to turn over, wants to be able to smooth the anxious line that he knows is forming on Phil’s forehead. But he’s speechless at Phil’s words, and can only sit in silence as he continues.

“And remember that thing that went around on twitter? That stupid fucking tweet that made people argue if I should be a dad?” Dan knows exactly what he is referencing; the tweet that read: _ like if you would pick Phil to be your dad, retweet if you’d pick Dan. you can only pick one._ The results had not been in Phil’s favour. In the beginning, Dan had laughed at the ridiculousness of the tweet, but now he sees that it’s just fueling Phil’s insecurities. “I know I overreacting a ton but I’m just-”

“Tired. And stressed. We both are,” Dan cuts him off. He hears a sniffle, and Dan pushes at Phil’s shoulder; turning him over so he can see his face. His eyes are red and watery, but Dan is thankful to see that the tears haven’t gathered enough to spill over. Dan shuffles over, tucking his own face into Phil’s neck and pulling him closer.

They have to shift a bit when Phil brings up a hand to wipe at his eyes. “I’m being so stupid. I’m sorry,” he says, and Dan presses a couple of light kisses against his neck to soothe and quiet him.

“Phil, we adopted two children just over a month ago! You’re allowed to cry over it sometimes. God knows I have.”

“I just didn’t think this would be the reason.”

“Listen,” Dan says, tilting his head up so he can look into Phil’s eyes. “I promise you, I wouldn’t be with you if I didn’t think you were giving those girls all the love you can give. You are an amazing father, and I’m sure when I become Bad Cop when they’re teenagers you’re gonna be their favourite person in the world.”

“You think?” Phil says shyly, but Dan can see the smile creeping back onto his face.

“I’m positive.”

They share a soft kiss, and Dan can feel Phil’s smile against his lips. Then, a loud cry erupts from the baby monitor, and Dan groans. Phil tilts his head back and laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter if you want! @canicryyet  
also comments and kudos are amazing if you're willing to give them! <3


End file.
